To Windows 10 or Not Windows 10

originally published in the Elizabethian July 29, 2015

Windows 10 is available for free download on July 29th for Windows 7 and Windows 8 owners. It will be the first version of Windows where you will no longer have the option of downloading updates to your operating system, as they will be downloaded for you automatically. Windows 10, from all reports, manages to combine the look and feel of the most popular Windows 7 with Windows 8, which dragged people kicking and screaming into the future without a Start button.

Whether or not you should get it depends on a number of factors, and here at TheElizabethian, we want to hold your hand and gently guide you down the path to enlightenment in this tricky area. In order to be as helpful as possible, we have compiled a list of pros and cons for getting Windows 10.

10 Reasons to get Windows 10 Immediately

  1. You just watched the new Terminator movie and can’t wait to hasten the arrival of Skynet, as this is what will inevitably arise from a computer that auto-updates itself and syncs with your phones, tablets and probably your house and car.
  2. You are an early adopter and can’t be bothered not having the latest thing, so you can lord it over everyone else for being behind the curve. “WHAT!!!!!! You don’t have Windows 10 yet? That was so, like, yesterday already.”
  3. You accidentally clicked on the new Windows button that has been appearing at the bottom right side of your desktop and soon it will be downloaded and activated before you realize it.
  4. You are a writer/intern for a number of prestigious technology blogs, and you can’t wait to share your important ideas with the world on this platform that you are convinced will change the world. Also, you were bored with getting coffee so often.
  5. You are being held at gunpoint by Steve Ballmer, who will not let you leave until you download Windows 10 and then go streaking through Times Square, yelling that Microsoft is number 1 and Windows 10 is the greatest operating system of all time.
  6. You are a geek squad employee, and you are required to get it.
  7. You are participating in an intensive focus group, whose purpose is to have ten people living together and use branded Windows 10 products everywhere, voting each other off until only one contestant remained after using an original DoS hack to rig the voting and become the winner of the Windows 10-off.
  8. It was either that or do the dishes for your roommate, and you couldn’t let him get away with that again!
  9. Windows 10 because…. seven ate nine! Get it???? Well… Windows 7 and then 8 were theoretically the 7th or 8th iterations of Windows, so the number following that should have been 9. However, some executive somewhere decided that the number 10 was a lot cooler than 9 and managed to convince everyone to back that idea. Seriously, that’s pretty much what happened.
  10. You are an incredible nerd who lives for the challenge of fighting new systems and making all computer programs bend to your will.

Wow, what a great list that was! Was that helpful? Did you guys learn something? No? In that case let’s turn our attention towards….

10 Reasons to Avoid Getting Windows 10 Immediately

  1. You know that it will be full of bugs and almost completely unusable on launch day. Nothing will work, except for the Internet, and even that will probably have errors.
  2. The crush of people trying to download will probably slow the system down to a crawl for at least a week.
  3. You’re a natural procrastinator anyway and you have, according to Microsoft, one year to get the free upgrade. Why rush?
  4. Your lock shop computer has been getting along just fine with MS-DOS 2.1 and a dos matrix printer. Who can resist the charm of pulling off the dotted strips off those old printers, not to mention fixing the paper alignment when it would inevitably jam somehow.
  5. You are in a coma. Come on, admit it. It’s hard to get mad at someone in a coma.
  6. Because you could care less. Windows 7 or XP or whatever you have has been working just the way you want it, and you don’t want your mom coming in with dinner and messing up your perfect setup.
  7. You are a person that is naturally paranoid about everything. Going to the eye doctor terrifies you, and the thought of upgrading your computer operating system nearly sends you into cardiac arrest.
  8. Too much effort.
  9. You can still order delivery and watch Netflix on your current system.
  10. Microsoft used to put a lot of effort into their product roll out marketing campaigns. When Windows 95 premiered, they had ads everywhere and used the Rolling Stone song “Start Me Up” to announce a brand new way to use Windows. Now, after years and years of embarrassment, this is the quietest major product launch in history. Coldplay will not be singing “Clocks” in Times Square while a big countdown clock ticks off the seconds until the release. No cool celebrities have done casual mentions of it in the last few months. You will not have heard of it for at least a few weeks, unless you are a computer nerd, like myself. Despite the fact that Microsoft intends this to be the last version of Windows ever, they are not blowing the doors off with marketing, as they should be doing. Really, you shouldn’t be able to avoid Windows 10 right now, much less have no clue that it’s launching. So, here’s the thing. If Microsoft, with its billions of dollars and worldwide reach, doesn’t care enough that the average consumer knows about their product, then why should you bother?